Monday, September 22, 2008

Sonofa...

Where do I start? I haven't blogged in a while because I have been busy fixing all the things that Jack has done recently. Originally, when I posted my eggs incident, I truly did not believe that things could go from really bad to worse. However I have recently revisited that thought, since not only do I now know- but I can attest that things can indeed go rapidly from really bad to worse. Let's take a look see and find out why I now intimately know this.

For future reference, the following may be helpful to know. Recipe for disaster:
10 lb bag of flour +
curious 2 year old boy +
mom in shower
= HUGE MESS.


Observe:
This was within the same week as the eggs. How nice. Forget that there are starving people all around the world! We are well on our way to wasting as much food as possible. I don' t think we will be able to make crepes anytime soon, what with being out of flour and eggs and all. Really the only thing missing is the milk. I am drawing the line at the milk though. Because I think that at this point it is safe to assume that one can, indeed, cry over spilled milk (and for that matter, spilled flour and smashed eggs too).

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Yearbook yourself




Are you ready to pee your pants because you're laughing so hard? Check out
this site! You put in your picture and it spits out a photo of you in yearbook fashion from 1950-2000. It is hilarious. I thought you all might like to know how we looked over the many years we spent repeating High School.



Thursday, September 11, 2008

One in the same, I think.

So, frequently (like flippin' weekly) I have this little exchange at work, usually with someone I have just met or only worked with a few times:

Me: -Insert quick one liner here-. (This last weeks was said in answering a passengers question on how to open the bathroom door. I answered, "Just turn the knob and push". Then under my breath I said, "just like on your trailer." Hey, I was in a bad mood....)

Other person: You know who you remind me of?


Me: No. Who? (In my head: Geez- only do this once a week, but let's play along anyhoo--)

Other person: Karen, From Will and Grace.

Me: Noooo.... are you serious?

Other person: Dead on. Perfect.

___________________________________________________________

So, in having this exchange this last week, I decided to do a little research. I have been closely watching episodes here and there and finally broke down this morning and did a youtube search. I think you'll find the similarities striking.




Um... Ok. Next?



On second thought...



Nope! But she is Fabulous!!!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Damn it all!!



My gramps (Sam) used to say, "Damn it all, Margie!" to just about anything that didn't suit his fancy. In fact, that was my favorite thing to hear since I would smile from ear to ear when he said it, mostly because of the way it was delivered. So, what does that have to do with this post? Well, I will tell you. I have had a "damn it all" day.


Let's start at the beginning. I didn't sleep particularly well last night and spent a few hours watching infomercials for various products. I sheepishly admit that I ended up ordering a few items that perhaps I shouldn't have. That belongs into the "Do NOT tell Ryan" category. At nearly 1 AM I decided that I would go to sleep, considering that the children rise at 7 I didn't have much time to play with. I am a full 10 hrs of sleep kinda gal... anything less than that is simply an insult. At 7 AM the alarm went off with it's usual irritatingly sweet "Good Morning" chime. I went in to wake the children and noticed Jack was completely nude. OHHHH GRRRRREEEAAATTTT!!!! I said (Ok, it really consisted of another 4 letter word, begins with S ends with T, but that's neither here nor there).

After removing Jackson from his crib and surveying the damage, I knew I had a major clean up project on the agenda for today. Grand! So, I plopped Jack into the tub and began to remove his bedding and accoutrements. Braxton seems to think that Jack needs to have a party at his crib every night. Those invited are the 2 Lions (Li-Li), 2 Bears (Max and baby Max), Mr. Flops, another Dog (Ralph) and Big Bunny. From what I understand it is THE PLACE to be. A real par-tay. Needless to say, all of those friends were subjected to a 'shower'. So, into the wash everyone went. At about 11 I went down to remove the load in the washer and move it to the dryer. This normally takes about 4 minutes to do. Upon my return upstairs the following scene greeted me:

Do you ever have those times where if you don't laugh, you are gonna cry? Well, this fell into both categories!! At which time I promplty picked up the phone and called Jodi (in the interest of Jackson's welfare). She listened to me as I cried/laughed. She's the best! After I hung up I looked at the mess, which consisted of 7 eggs, 4 on my carpet and 3 on my wood floor. I broke down and cried (like a big fat baby!!). As I was scooping up the egg mess my mothers voice came to my head. She said, "Don't you remember the time when you and Jeremy broke all of our eggs on the kitchen floor? We were so broke and you two broke all of those eggs. Remember dad put you in jail and fed you both bread and water for dinner?" I do remember that! I haven't been forward with my friends and told them that I have a record. Okay, my time served was under the crib with the side rails down, and I was 3 at the time- but it was close enough!! :). And yes, we did have bread and water for dinner.

As I cleaned up yet another mess, I felt her telling me how hard it was to raise 4 boys, and I felt a wave of understanding wash over me. At least I knew that she was there wiping my tears as I wiped up the goopy mess.
And yes, Jackson was sentenced this afternoon... to a nap.

"Damn it all, Margie!"

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Could it be??

School started a while ago (3 weeks), and as tradition goes, most mom's do the annual first day photo. This year was certainly no exception. It went something like this:

Me: "Kids, get over here lets get a picture."
Kids: "But mom..."
Me: "Come on... right here in front of the sign. You guys look great!"
Kids: "Fine... but hurry there's our friends and we need to see who our teachers are!"
Snap! Great!!

20 minutes later in the car, I decide to look over my handiwork. Perhaps you will think the same thing I did when I looked at this picture:



I said to myself, " Is that the same child??" For all of those of you that think Addie looks like me and Braxton looks like Ryan, I submit this as proof positive that none of my children look like me. Case Closed!

Monday, September 8, 2008

Cake Wrecks

If you haven't taken the time to visit this blog, then please do. I laugh OUT loud every day that I read it. To the point of crying. It is hilarious!

What is it? This blog is dedicated to professional cakes that come out all wrong. My brother sent me the link, and I am addicted. This last cake (the Tiffany cake) made me want to die. Check it out, you'll thank me later. Promise.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

I'm Baaaaaccckkk!!!

Yes, I know. My sweet BFF told me that my readership numbers are way down... to like nothing. She also informed me that people were starting to not read my blog anymore. I figured that isn't really surprising, since I haven't blogged since MAY!!!! I know... in my defense, it has been a long summer filled with many trips to Wyoming- which in case you were wondering is God's country, according to my DH. Needless to say, I am back on the wagon and trying to settle back into my life.

Speaking of which, I need to vent for a moment. Why is it that I am the only person qualified to change out a roll of toilet paper? That is, of course, after being the only one qualified to find said toilet paper. To let you in on a little secret- I hide the toilet paper. It is in the garage on the shelf (next to the paper towels) in plain view. But, no one can ever find it. Hmmm... I am sure glad that I attended that pre-wife/mothering course wherein I learned vital things like: how to know where everything in the house is at any given moment, how to wash-rinse-dry & fold clothing for 5 people simultaneously, emptying the trash cans, replacing toilet paper rolls, how to scrub a toilet and wipe a mirror, etc. Well worth my time. Anyone planning on having a husband or children: Highly recommend this class. It will serve you well... especially since you will now be the sole authority on such things.

(sliding my soap box back to it's proper location) Ok.... whew!!

So I am back, and I hope that you spread the word. I don't want my eagle award revoked. Ok, so I gave it to myself, but still!