Oh my hell-en keller...

This is why a 2 year old and semi-permanent lipstick should NEVER be within 200 yards of each other.

Imagine my panic when I saw Jack from about 100 feet. I thought he was killed for sure.


Turns out "Primrose" makes a pretty good stand in for blood if you are ever in need of it. And, with my bad vision it nearly caused me a heart attack. It wore off after about a week.

Mini Indy 2008

Mini Indy... oh my! Don't know what it is? Don't worry, you will in a second.

You haven't heard of it simply because outside of the SkyWest culture Mini Indy isn't really known. That is, unless you have family or friends within the SkyWest culture, but even then there aren't any REAL guarantees.

So what is it? Well, my friends- let me tell you. Picture this, if you will. 42 teams ranging from 6-20 adults each, using a souped up go-kart to beat each other around a track with lots of turns and obstacles. This is no small event, but rather a HUGE 3-day production with people dressed up in their NASCAR jumpsuits and a "go big or go home" attitude. Competition was stiff (to put it mildly) and cheaters were doing their best to not get caught. All proceeds from this race (which totalled in excess of $100,000- went to the United Way of Dixie.) Each of our 2 teams was comprised of 6 people that were nominates by other employees as being exemplary. Out of over 2,000 flight attendants in our company, I was 1 of 2 that were invited to take part. What a HUGE honor and boy was I excited to be there.

Day one started out with the kids and I in the van on a road trip to Saint George, UT. About a 5 hour drive.... which I thought would be nearly unbearable. I am happy to report that the children were FANTASTIC!! Not a peep or anything (PTL for the Ipod!!). That night I checked into my hotel room, only to find:


How nice! After a brief touch up on the hair and makeup, we were off to dinner with the executives of SkyWest. Our CEO Jerry Atkin, and our COO Chip Childs were there, along with many other VP's and important people (yes, including me!).



The next morning we met to register and check out our car and start practicing not only our driving skills, but our pit stop skills. Since we had 2 teams both team selected a team Captain. Rave Team 2 (car 72) was my team, and our captain was... ME! Yay!

Practicing for the pit stop competition.



After the practice sessions, we were offered a tour of corporate offices. Here's me behind the CEO's desk. Hope he didn't mind if I signed off on a few things. :) Thanks Jerry!



On Friday night there was a large banquet and a pit crew competition.

At the Banquet:


We lost by by 1/100th of a second... grr!!!

The last day was Race Day. We were supposed to ride in a parade, but never made it to the track in time (our ride never showed up). We all know how much I love parades, so I was terribly disappointed, but nonetheless I pressed on. We started racing and there were 4 rounds of driving.




We all took turns and had a grand time, especially on the wet corner of death.





Our other team ended up crashing and taking off the front end of their car.



We left ours in pristine condition, all things considered. We didn't win, but we tried hard and fought a good fight. In the end, the SGU Fire Department won. It was okay, because they were HOT. :)

Our President and COO, Chip Childs.

If you don't laugh until you cry, you aren't really my friend....

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph... PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best web mail-award-winning letter....

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or Dry-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills. Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior.

You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants.. Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. If you just have to Slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending BS. And that's a promise I will keep. Always. Best, Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

An ode to my BFF

This shirt I almost bought for one of us, then I realized. . . who would own it?

I have been thinking a lot about Joon for the past week, and more regrettably thinking about being unable to do much for her to celebrate her birthday. I figure she pretty much had a crappy one this year, especially since she'd been cut up and sewn back together all in one day (which happened to be ON her birthday). And since we have been trying to figure out when we could take the same trip that our DH's took over a year ago and haven't found the time (mostly my fault), I figure the "make-up" birthday may fall into this category as well (again, probably my fault). But, whatever the case, I just think that it is time that EVERYONE know how great my BFF is.

Top 10 reasons why my BFF is better than yours:
#10 She helps me plan little shenanigans to keep us from going crazy.
#9 She is always telling me nice things about me and she makes me feel important.
#8 Most of the conversations I have with her end up with us laughing so hard we are in tears (eg a whole new...world?, the ken doll, Farley, the wedding photo convo...etc) .
#7 She holds me accountable to work out - - even when I don't want to.
#6 She would move heaven and earth to help me if I were in a bind (which has happened many times).
#5 She is the only person in the world that is thinking the same thing I am, at the exact same time.
#4 She is the most patient mother I have EVER met and doesn't swear in front of her kids! WoW!!!
#3 She is always looking for someone to help.
#2 I can ask her if I look fat in a pair of pants and she would look for something nice to say like, "well, I like your shirt." instead of telling me I look fat!
And the Number 1 reason:
She is the WHOLE reason I am not bald (from pulling my hair out), she helps me maintain my crazy life and is the best listener in the world.

I love ya Joon!!!! Happy Birthday!

I have proof!

Now, I have a definitive answer as to why my children wait to talk to me until I am on the phone. Today the following conversation took place between Braxton and I.

Brax: "Mom!!!"

Me: "What son?"

Brax: "Are you on the phone?"

Me: "No, why? What do you need?"

Brax: "Okay, nevermind..."
(As if to say that now that I know you are not on the phone, I no longer need you. I'll wait until you are on the phone to interrupt.)

Anyone that has ever called my house while my children are home know that this truly is the case. My theory has finally been proven. Yay!!!

Why I love Fast Sunday

While I am not trying to sound sac-relig or anything, I do have to say that Sacrament meeting on Fast Sunday can be kind of a drag. Reigning in 3 kids for over an hour can be difficult to feel good about, let alone, feel the spirit. Threats of death and destruction to my children often drive me further in the wrong direction. Then one person gets up and makes the whole meeting worthwhile. Usually this is the small kid that reveals some dark secret about how his mom swore at the cat or something along those lines. Or, you have the kid that we had yesterday.

"I'd like to bear my testimony and I know this church is true. I love my mom and dad and I an thankful for Jesus. I know that he came to America and I am thankful that he helped the Americans. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

Sister Beach and I marveled at this and as we giggled, somehow it made the whole meeting complete. I love it.